How Robert became so damn sexy

Stefan has posted the 97th monster in his series, and I decided to write a short story about it as well. Make sure you watch the video on the Daily Monster website before reading this story, as it will then make much more sense. So, without any further ado, the story of monster no. 97:

It was a normal Tuesday afternoon when the explosion sounded. The cloud that formed above the Red Shoe Testing Facilites was visible for miles. Witnesses described the boom as something similar to a small earth quake, and store windows even shattered as far away as downtown Heelsville. The details are rather sketchy, but what seems to have happened is this. A new intern was busy testing the sexy factor of a new shoe coating that would, hopefully, revolutionize the products of Red Shoe, Inc. The testing procedure involved painting a bit of the black--and very volitile!--liquid on a piece of paper while counting the number of times the testing monkey (aptly named Narcisimus) said "Ooo-la-la!" from his cage. All was going well--there had been a record forty-five exlamaitions from the primate in the first minute and a hlaf--when the intern, Robert, made a crucial mistake. Whithout noticing, he had spilled a drop of the sexy solution on the floor, and was presently about to step directly on it! (Everyone knows that Red Shoe Sexy Solution is only stable when completely dry.) This, of course, resulted in a resounding BOOM! The roof of the testing facility was blown clean off, and Robert would receive the brunt of the blast. His face became covered in sexy solution, and because of the heat, it dried as it was splattering him. This resulted in not only his face being covered in the unremovable substance, but also in his hair being drenched as well. And, because his right leg was the first thing to come in contact with the explosion, he lost it as well. Now, in the history of lab mishaps, the receiver of disfiguration usually has an axe to grind, and winds up in a sour mood for the remainder of his or her life (most likely making it his mission to seek revenge upon completely unrelated persons as Spiderman, Superman, Batman, and Captain Planet). However, in the case of Robert, he was pleased with his new look. Because Red Shoe's Sexy Solution had been designed to raise the sexiness level of whatever it coated by 700%, Rovert was in high spirits. Hopping around on his single leg caused him no bother, and he would live out the rest of his days as one of the most popular scientists in the world. Of course, he did acquire the unfortunate nickname of "Monster No. 97" but he was able to brush this off, as his sexiness level easily won over any critics.